Dreams

This is just me musing :)

Ever since I could think, I worried. I think that was me, a little worry-wart, who worried about most things other children simply blithe through. But perversely, sometimes I just wouldn't do what needed to be done. I'd be like the deer caught in the headlights, staring and worrying unblinkingly instead of taking action.

Matriculation was a serious year. My parents worried about my lack of seriousness, and plucked me from St. Paul's High School and dumped me at a boarding school. I had a terrible time adjusting. The method at St. Paul's was reading the textbooks, at my new school, it was re-producing the notes the teachers gave us, word by word, down to the semi-colons! So we students would be in our classes at study-hours, buzzing like bees. I did unexpectedly well in the term exams and I somehow always stood first. So there was some kind of pressure on me to 'make' the school's name. Which scared me even more, because I was secretly scared of failing, let alone making the darn school proud!

Anyway, despite all this studying, there was a glimmer of light. The dentist said I needed braces! Which meant I could occasionally come up for air in the outside world. I would mark the days for the dentist visits and almost live only for those days. The night before one such visit, I had a dream. Mom was standing outside our hostel balcony, telling me she couldn't come to take me that day. The next day, one of the warden's told me my mother had called to say she couldn't come. I think that was my first dream that actually came true.

Then after the matric exams were over, we all went home, waiting for the results. Like the rest of my classmates, I agonized over the results. Most of my dreams were naturally about the results. One day I would dream of being on top ten, then on other nights, of flunking! The night before the results were announced, I dreamt again about the results, and my friends were telling me who stood first and fourth. I asked them, 'What about me?' and they said you just missed the top ten. I told my mother about the dream when she woke me up. She told me not to think about it too much. But that day, the results were announced, and the people who'd stood first and fourth in my dream actually were first and fourth. And me? I was 12th, I'd missed the top ten by 3 marks :)

 

When I was in medical college, my best friend and I always put off studying till the nth minute. So the last months before exams would have us in a reading-frenzy. When I fall asleep while reading, I've had several instances when I heard this very clear voice calling me, 'Zualte', and I'd be jolted wide awake. I used to think it sounded like my mom's voice, maybe it was.

I've had similar incidents. I'd dream about something odd, sometimes I wouldn't even pay any attention to them. But later, something would happen that would make me go,'Oh! I'd seen that in my dream!'. I don't think it's anything special, most of my dreams never come true.  Maybe over-thinking about a particular thing gives me several glimpses of the prospects, and one of them sometimes come true. Or maybe I just sleep too much!